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Showing posts from November 18, 2018

Ten Action Signals - Frustration

5. FRUSTRATION.  Frustration can come from many avenues. Any time we feel like we're surrounded by roadblocks in our lives, where we are continuously putting out effort but not receiving rewards, we tend to feel the emotion of frustration.  The Message. The message of frustration is an exciting signal. It means that your brain believes you could be doing better than you currently are.  Frustration is very different from disappointment, which is the feeling that there's something you want in your life but you'll never get it. By contrast, frustation is a very positive sign. It means that the solution to your problem is within range, but what you're currently doing isn't working, and you need to change your approach in order to achieve your goal. It's a signal for you to become more flexible. How do you deal with frustration? The Solution: 1) Realize that frustration is your friend, and brainstorm new ways to get a result. How can you f...

Ten Action signals....Anger

smart movies 4. ANGER .   Angy emotions include everything from being mildly irritated to being angry, resentful, furious, or even enraged. The Message: The message of anger is that an important rule or standard that you hold for your life has been violated by someone else, or maybe even by you. When you get the message of anger, you need to understand that you can literally change this emotion in a moment. The Solution : 1) Realize that you may have misinterpreted the situation completely, that your anger about this person breaking your rules may be based on the fact that they don't know what's most important to you. (even though you believe they should) 2) Realize that even if a person did violate one of your standards, your rules are not necessarily the "right" rules even though you feel as strongly as you do about them. 3) Ask yourself a more empowering question like "In the long run, is it true that this person really cares abo...

Ten Action Signals... Hurt

3. HURT. If there's any one emotion that seems to dominate human relationships, both personal and professional, it's the emotion of hurt. Feelings of hurt are usually generated by a sense of loss. When people are hurt, they often lash out at others. We need to hear the real message hurt gives us. The message : The message the hurt signal gives us is that we have an expectation that has not been met. Many times this feeling arises when we've expected somebody to keep their word and they didn't (even if you didn't tell them your expectation that, for example, they not share with someone else what you talked with them about). In this case, you feel a loss of intimacy with this person, maybe a loss of trust. That sense of loss is what creates the feeling of hurt. The Solution :  1) Realize that in reality you may not have lost anything. Maybe what you need to lose is the false perception that this person is trying to wound or hurt you. Maybe they really d...

Ten Action Signals - Discomfort

Your major emotions or action signals is trying to give you a positive message. Let's begin with the most basic call to action, the emotion of 1. DISCOMFORT.   The Message : Boredom, impatience, unease, distress, or mild embarrassment are all sending you a message that something is not quite right. Maybe the way you're perceiving things is off, or the actions you're taking are not producing the results you want. The Solution: 1) Use the skills you've learned in the previous articles to change your state. 2) Clarify what you do want and 3) Refine your actions. Try a slightly different approach andd see if you can't immediately change the way you're feeling about the situation and/or change the quality of results you're producing. 2. FEAR. Fearful emotions include everything from low levels of concern and apprehension to intense worry, anxiety, fright, and even terror. Fear serves a purpose, and its message is simple. The Message: Fear is sim...