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To paraphrase the philosopher Nietzche, he who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how. I've found that 20 percent of any change is knowing how; but 80 percent is knowing why. If we gather a set of strong enough reasons to change, we can change in a minute something we've failed to change for years. The greatest leverage you can create for yourself is the pain that comes from inside, not outside. Knowing that you have failed to live up to your own standards for your life is the ultimate pain. If we fail to act in accordance with our own view of ourselves, if our behaviours are inconsistent with our standards - with the identity we hold for ourselves - then the chasm between our actions and who we are drives us to make a change. The reason so many of seem to be walking contradictions is simply that we never recognize inconsistencies for what they are. If you want to help somebody, you won't access this kind of leverage by making them wrong or pointin...

One of the things that turns virtually anything around  is reaching a pain threshold. This means experiencing pain at such an intense level that you know you must change now -  a point at which your brain says, "I've had it; I can't spend another day, not another moment , living or feeling this way." Have you ever experienced this in a personal relationship, for example? You hung in there, it was painful and you really weren't happy, but you stayed in it anyway. Why? You rationalized that it would get better, without doing anything to make it better. If you were in so much pain, why didn't you leave? Even though you were unhappy your fear of the unknown was a more powerful motivating force. "Yeah, I'm unhappy now," you may have thought,"but what if I leave this person and then I never find anyone? At least I know how to deal with the pain I have now". This kind of thinking is what keeps people from making changes. Finally...