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Two people  Becky and I have the priviledge to count as friends are Martin and Janet Sheen. They have been married for close to thirty years, and one of the things that I respect most about them is their  absolute support for  each other, for their family, and for anyone in need. As much as the public knows Martin is a committed giver, they have no idea how much he and Janet do together for others on a daily basis. These two people are the epitome of integrity. Their metaphor for humanity  is that of "one giant family" and as a result they feel the deepest caring and compassion even for complete strangers. I remember when Martin shared with me the moving story of how  his life changed years ago while he was making Apocalypse Now. Before that time, he had seen life as something to fear. Now he sees it as an intriguing challenge. Why? His new metaphor is that Life is a Mystery.  He loves the mystery of being a human being, the wonder and sense ...

The way we represent things in our minds determines how we feel about life. A related distinction is that if you don't have a way of representing something, you can't experience it. While it may be true that you can picture something without having a word for it or you can represent it through sound or sensation, there's no denying that being able to articulate something gives it added dimension and substance, and thus a sense of reality.  Words are a basic tool for representing things to ourselves, and often if there's no word, there's no way to think about the experience.  If Bob never feels bored, and he doesn't have that word in his vocabulary, I had to ask further, "What's a word that I never used to describe how I'm feeling?" The answer I came up with was "depression". I may get frustrated, angry, curious, peeved, or overloaded, but I never get depressed. Why? Had it always been that way?No.  Eight years ago, I'd be...

Words ... They've been used to make us laugh and cry. They can wound or heal. They offer us hope or devastation. With words we can make our noblest intentions felt and our deepest desires known. Throughout human history, our greatest leaders and thinkers have used the power of words to transform our emotions, to enlist us in their causes, and to shape the course of destiny. Words can not only create emotions, they create actions. And from our actions flow the results of our lives.  When Patrick Henry stood before his fellow delegates and proclaimed, "I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!," his words ignited a firestorm that unleashed our forefathers' unbridled commitment to extinguish the tyranny that had suppressed them for so long. Many of us are well aware of the powerful part that words have played in our history, of the power that great speakers have to move us, but few of us are aware of  our ow...

Every morning when we wake up, we ask ourselves questions. When the alarm goes off, what question do you ask yourself? Is it, How come I have to get up right now?," "Why aren't there more hours in the day?, "What if I hit the snooze alarm just one more time?" And as you get in the shower, what are you asking yourself? "Why do I have to go to work?," "How bad is the traffic going to be  today?," "What kind of stuff is going to be dumped on my desk today?" What if every day you consciously started asking a pattern of questions that would put you in the right frame of mind and that caused you to remember how grateful, happy, and excited you are? What kind of day do you think you'd have, with those positive emotional states as your filter?  Obviously it would affect how you feel about virtually everything. Realizing this, I decided I needed a "success ritual" and I created a series of questions that I ask myself ever...

The key then is to develop a pattern of consistent questions that empower you. You and I both know that no mater what we're involved with in our lives, there are going to be times when we come up against these things we call "problems": the roadblocks to personal and professional progress. Every person, no matter what station of life they've achieved, has to deal with these special "gifts." The question is not whether you're going to have problems, but how you're going to deal with them when they come up. We all need a systematic way to deal with challenges. So, realizing the power of questions to immediately change my state and give me access to resources and solutions,  I began to interview people and ask them how they got themselves out of problems. I found out that there are certain questions that seem to be somewhat consistent. Here is a list of the five questions I use for any type of problem that comes up, and I can tell you that these ...

 Right now, ask yourself some empowering questions. What are you truly happy about in your life right now? What's really great in your life today? What are you truly grateful for? Take a moment to think about the answers and notice how good it feels to know that you have legitimate reasons for you to feel great now. Questions change what we delete. Human beings are marvellous "deletion creatures". You and I have so many millions of things going on around us that we focus on right now, from the blood flowing through our ears to the wind that may be brushing against our arms. However, we can consciously focus on only a small  number of things simultaneously. So the brain spends a good deal of its time trying to  prioritize what  to pay attention to and more importantly, what not to pay attention to, or what to "delete". If you're feeling really sad, there is only one reason, it's because you're deleting all the reasons you could be feeling...

There's a big difference between an affirmation and a question. When you say to  yourself, "I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy,"  this might cause you to feel happy if you produce enough emotional intensity, change your physiology and therefore your state. But in reality, you can make affirmations all day long and not really change how you feel.  What will really change the way you feel is asking, "What am I happy about now? What could I be happy about if I wanted  to be? How would that make me feel?" If you  keep asking questions like this,  you'll come up with real references that will make you begin to focus on reasons that do in fact exist for you to feel happy. You'll feel certain that you're happy. Instead of just "pumping you up," questions provide you with actual reasons to feel the emotion. You and I can change how we feel in an instant, just by changing our focus.  Most of us don't realize the power of memory...