Skip to main content

The ten emotions of Power - Competition



3. Competition. May people stop fighting their painful emotions and decide too fully indulge in them. Rather than learn the positive message their emotion is trying to give them, they intensify it and make it even worse than it is. It becomes a "badge of courage," and they begin to compete with others, saying "You think you've got it bad? Let me tell you how bad I've got it!"  It literally becomes part of their identity, a way of being unique; they begin to pride themselves on being worse off than anyone else. 

As you can imagine, this is one of the deadliest traps of all. This approach must be avoided at all costs, because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where the person ends up having an investment in feeling bad on a regular basis - and they they are truly trapped. A much more powerful and healthy approach to dealing with the emotions that we think  are painful  is to realize that they  serve a positive purpose, and that is...

4. Learning and Using. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"This, too, shall pass,"

Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania did an intensive research on what creates learned helplessness. In his book Learned Optimism he reports on three specific patterns of beliefs that cause us to feel helpless and can destroy virtually every aspect of our lives. He calls these three categories permanence, pervasiveness, and personal. Many of our country's greatest achievers have succeeded in spite of running into huge problems and barriers. The difference between them and those who give up revolves around their beliefs about the permanence, or lack thereof, of their problems.  Achievers rarely, if ever, see a  problem as permanent, while those who fail, see even the smallest problems as permanent. Once you adopt the belief that there's nothing you can do to change something, simply because nothing you've  done up until now has changed it, you start to take a pernicious poison into your system. No matter what happens in your life, you've got ...

Problem Solving Questions ...............Continued

Every morning when we wake up, we ask ourselves questions. When the alarm goes off, what question do you ask yourself? Is it, How come I have to get up right now?," "Why aren't there more hours in the day?, "What if I hit the snooze alarm just one more time?" And as you get in the shower, what are you asking yourself? "Why do I have to go to work?," "How bad is the traffic going to be  today?," "What kind of stuff is going to be dumped on my desk today?" What if every day you consciously started asking a pattern of questions that would put you in the right frame of mind and that caused you to remember how grateful, happy, and excited you are? What kind of day do you think you'd have, with those positive emotional states as your filter?  Obviously it would affect how you feel about virtually everything. Realizing this, I decided I needed a "success ritual" and I created a series of questions that I ask myself ever...

The Magnificent Obsession - Creating A Compelling Future....

GIANT GOALS PRODUCE GIANT MOTIVATION So often, people ask me, "Where do I get my energy? With all that intensity, no wonder you're so successful. I just don't have your drive; I guess  I'm not motivated. I guess I'm lazy." My usual response is, "You're not lazy! You just have impotent goals!" Frequently I get a confused look to this response, at which point I explain that my level of excitement and drive comes from my goals. Every morning when I wake up, even if I feel physically exhausted from a lack of sleep, I'll still find the drive I need because my goals are so exciting to me. They get me up early, keep me up late, and inspire me to marshal my resources and use everything I can possibly find within the sphere of my influence to bring them to fruition. The same energy and sense of mission is available to you now, but it will never be awakened  by puny goals. The first step is to develop bigger, more inspiring, more challenging ...