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The Force that Shapes Your Life


Often an interesting question comes up in discussions about these twin powers that drives us. Why is it that people can experience pain yet fail to change? They haven't experienced enough pain yet, they haven't hit what I call emotional threshold. 

 If you've ever been in a destructive relationship and finally made the decision to use your personal power, take action and change your life, it was probably because you hit a level of pain  you weren't willing to settle for anymore. We've all experienced those times in our lives when we've said. "I've had it - never again - this must change now." This is the magical moment when pain becomes  our friend. It drives us to take new action and produce new results. We become even more powerfully compelled to act if, in that same moment, we begin to anticipate  how changing will create  a great deal of pleasure for our lives as well. 

 This process is certainly not limited to relationships.Maybe you've experienced threshold with your physical condition: you finally got fed up because you couldn't squeeze into an airline seat, you couldn't fit into your clothes, and walking up a set of stairs winded you, Finally you said, "I've had it!" and made a decision.

  What motivated that decision?

  It was the desire to remove pain from your life and establish pleasure once again: the pleasure of pride, the pleasure of comfort, the pleasure of self-esteem, the pleasure of living life the way you've designed it.

 Of course, there are many levels of pain and pleasure. For example, feeling a sense of humiliation is a rather  intense form of emotional pain. Feeling a sense of inconvenience is also pain. So is boredom. Obviously some of these have less intensity, but they still factor in the equation of decision-making. 

 Likewise pleasure weighs into this process. Much of our drive in life comes from anticipating that our actions will lead to a more compelling future, that today's work will be well worth the effort, that the rewards of pleasure are near. Yet there are many levels of pleasure as well. For example, the pleasure of ecstasy, while most would agree is intense, may sometimes be outweighed by the pleasure of comfort. It all depends on an individual's perspective.

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