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8 Signs You’re The Selfish Partner In Your Relationship- (2)




4. You routinely accuse your partner of being the selfish one in the relationship.  

“We can hardly tolerate qualities in others that we don’t like about ourselves. Often what we mean when we accuse partners of being selfish is that they’re not meeting our selfish preferences.” ―Steven Stosny, psychologist

5. You get pissy when your partner makes plans that don’t involve you. 

“There is no reason to be joined at the hip. It is healthy to have your own interests and balance ‘me’ time with ‘we’ time. If you are always making your partner feel guilty for being an individual separate from you, then this is very selfish.” ― Feuerman 

6. You’re overly critical of your partner’s friends and family. 

“Occasionally I see couples where one partner refuses to hang out with the other partner’s friends, or belittles them, looks down on them or is otherwise unpleasant toward these friends. This creates a troubling imbalance in the relationship, where one person becomes the arbiter of who’s ‘in’ and who’s ‘out.’ It also implies a sense of superiority on the part of the partner who pronounces him/herself as the judge of high-quality friends.” ― Begel

7. You’re oblivious to your partner’s needs. 

“I always know there is a quality of deadness in a couple who comes for therapy where one partner isn’t at all worried about pleasing the other person. In a healthy relationship, we’re supposed to be aware of what pleases our partner and, at least part of the time, try to accommodate their desires. It’s of course always a question of balance: We don’t live to please our partner, but we’re not indifferent to our partner’s needs, wishes, desires. It goes a long way in a relationship when we know our partner is paying attention to what we need, even if it doesn’t always work out.” ― Begel

8. When you don’t get your way, you threaten to end the relationship — even if you don’t mean it.

“Even in the very best of relationships, none of us is always going to get what we need. If you spend your time threatening to leave your partner, how can they ever grow to trust that it isn’t always going to be about you and your needs? Someone who genuinely loves their partner is going to be mature enough and have enough self-awareness to know that it is extremely hurtful to threaten to abandon someone we love just because we don’t get our way.” ― Brown

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