So many suffer from the delusion that emotions are entirely out of their control, that they're just something that spontaneously occurs in reaction to the events of our lives. Often we dread emotions as if they were viruses that zero in on us and attack when we're most vulnerable. We assume that emotions arise in response to what others do or say to us.
Out of their need to avoid feeling certain emotions, people will often go to great, even ridiculous lengths. They'll turn to drugs, alcohol, overeating, gambling, they'll lapse into debilitating depression.
In order to avoid "hurting" a loved one (or being hurt by one), they'll suppress all emotions, end up emotional androids and ultimately destroy all the feelings of connections that got them together in the first place, thus devastating the ones they love most.
There are four ways in which people deal with emotion. Which of these have you used today?
1. Avoidance. We all want to avoid painful emotions. As a result, most people try to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions they they fear- or worse, some people try not to feel any emotions at all! if, for example, they fear rejections, they try to avoid any situation that could lead to rejection. They shy away from relationships. They don't apply for challenging jobs. Dealing with emotions in this way is the ultimate trap, because while avoiding negative situations may protect you in the short term, it keeps you from feeling the very love, intimacy, and connection that you desire the most.
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